Deactivated activism

Sometimes – you bloom

Radiant activist – sunshine in your hair

A sunbeam among the masses

Radiating the warm embers of simmering activism

You warm hearts and tug at heart strings

As you tiptoe through the maze of human suffering

You gently ease the dying light on its way

But you rest well

Because you touched a life

 

Then one day

You wake up

With an aching head

Your body complains


Then one day your activism

It takes a beating

You want to shrivel and die

Coz something died in you

It’s not your heart

Most certainly not your heart

It’s not your head too

“Look’ you say

Turning your head around

“I am perfectly fine’

 

Again

A hammering in your head

Something wants to cry

Something wants to die

Something inside feels it’s not worth it anymore

 

Activism

It feels like a noose round your neck

You go round and round and round

In circles

Looking for things to do

Things that would cheer you up

 

If only activism had the heady rush of a drug

If you could inhale and know

Know in your heart

That you were THERE

There at the pinnacle of your emotions

Just there

Just right

 

If only…………

If only activism did that

If only………..

It wasn’t a long, lonely trudge

 

If only………..

It wasn’t a thorny path of self atonement

Of living with your self

And thinking

Is it all?

Is this all that will be?

 

Where is the crowning glory?

Where is the sense of joy?

Where is a final destination?

 

And then you understand

Bitter moments of truth

Your heart is too weak

Your mind is too weak

Your body, your voice, your walk

Your sight, your hearing

Everything you need

Is too weak

 

Then you watch yourself crumble

“I told you’ says that voice

“that you would not make it

And now you know it’s true’

 

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