Management mantras for the uninitiated

Gautham Krishnamurthy is a PhD graduate at one of the ‘premier’ management institutions of the country. He is at the brink of getting his first job. He calls himself an upper caste male.

 {Gautham Krishnamurthy is unaware that the terminology ‘upper caste’ has been replaced by the new terminology-  Spiritually Backward Caste (SBC) on the 21st of March 2013 by the Vaishali Commission}.

 The institution he belongs to validates him. All the faculty belong to the SBC. A majority of them are Tambrams (A minority migrant community composed primariy of Iyers and Iyengars that has tried to propagate the myth that knowledge related to maths and science belongs to them  alone. This myth is upheld dearly against the face of all evidence, as it is the only thread that holds this rapidly disintegrating community together.)

The institution makes sure that many of its achievements can be boasted about by its proud students. The students feel proud of themselves and their institution, their Alma mater.  This institution puts many of them in well positioned jobs with pay checks that one could kill for (which the students, faculty and graduates regularly did, albeit subtly). The students, faculty and alumni had recently demonstrated with an endearing vehemence, their unity against a nasty miserable journalist who had written a scathing piece about them in a rather reputed daily. The institutions esteemed personalities had responded with an energy that was commendable.

The journalist had written that the public was mistaken about their interpretation of “premier’ that described this institution.  It was an in reality an acronym for Pro-private Racist un-Ethical Management Institution for Eating Resources.  The journalist had gone on to describe in some detail that these resources included public funds, positions, spaces and power. The journalist had in fact gone to the extent of saying that that elitism was all fine if people funded their own elitism and that these publicly funded institutions should be immediately be reclaimed by ordinary folk and put back in the hands of people rather than the SBC.

The institution instantly went (more) berserk. They filed defamation suits against the journalist, they organized public protests, they invited esteemed academia to validate them and they conducted awareness drives among the public. They felt that the reputation of their institution was in shambles and that the arrest and public humiliation of this journalist was in order.

Gautham Krishnamurthy was justifiably proud of this institutional heritage that he had descended from. He was also proud of his own roots. He belonged to a family of traditional temple priests (read SBC) in a rural area. He felt that this gave him an understanding of rural life that would equip him for the important responsibilities he would take up on his shoulders over time – important responsibilities like making decisions for thousands of people in his country and state.

Recently Gautham Krishamurthy had argued with someone about the payments that a sweeper in the village should be given. He felt that the sweepers deserved nothing more than Rs. 70 a day (and even that was too much) as they did nothing, at least in his village. His friend had asked whether the mimimum NREGA wages of Rs. 150 a day was also too much. Gautham Krishnamurthy had categorically stated that it was too much. “Arre yaar’ he drawled “ I come from a village so I know yaar. These sweepers………they don’t do any work. They are so lazy. Why should we pay them with public money? It’s such a waste of public money yaar……..”

These kind of lazy people really upset Gautham Krishnamurthy.  “Did you find out about other family members?” He asked his friend ‘Many of them also have jobs with NREGA. They also get money isn’t it? So why should he also get money when other family members do?”

An inquisitive woman hovering around this discussion asked Gautham. “Tell me dear. Are these same standards used when giving jobs to graduates from your management institution?  Do they fix wages based on the amount of work that is done? Do they ask how many other family members are employed? Do they pay you on a daily basis – paid on the days you work and unpaid on the days you don’t work?

Gautham looked at her furiously. “I am from the village so I know” he said pompously “You are from the city, madam you wouldn’t know’

He then went back to looking at an advertisement in his institutions fortnightly magazine.

 Pay Band – PB-4 (Rs.77400-107,000) minimum pay to be fixed at Rs.80,800/-. AGP – Rs. 19,500. The applicants should have an excellent academic record with Ph.D. or equivalent in appropriate discipline along with experience in teaching/research/industry. The pay carries all other allowances similar to a Central Government employee. Other perks available along with excellent opportunity for research, consultancy and professional development.

Gautham did a mental math. This worked to around Rs. 4285.71 as a minimum for each day that he would work.. It wasn’t as much as he would have liked but it was a good start. The perks and other allowances could be negotiated later.

Gautham looked at his PhD thesis – “ Impact of management efficiency on rural economy and reinvesting in ownership by traditional occupational groups – a case study from Karnataka

It had been three years of hard work now in a neat bound form. He would make his alma mater – his management institution proud.

 Gautham briefly visualized his life henceforth and he gave a short smile. Life looked good……………..


One thought on “Management mantras for the uninitiated”

  1. ms.sylvia karpagam

    perhaps you might be an immigrant and perhaps you might have some englishman’s blood in your veins.TamBrahms are not immigrants,dont spout silly cock n bull theories.DNA research has proven it all wrong by now.

    Yeah and i am from a real village unlike your fictious characters,we sold our agricultural land at half prices to our pallar/devendra kula vellalar peasants despite heavy pressure to sell it to the maravars.

    so,please dont write crap like usual and we have been in our village since 800 AD unlike all your telugu/kannada naickers/naidus who are the real immigrants,go talk to them if u feel like.

    If u see how they treat their peasants,u ll get to know the reality.

    else u can croak from your existence in a deep well.


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