The HEPP conference

Dr. Sivarasan, Dr. Sevasadan, Dr. Get A Sen(se), Dr. Desi Sweaty and Dr. Shrimaanth Deadly decided to have a conference. Dr. Sevasadan offered to sponsor it from the loads of unspent money that he had from the loads of unimplemented projects from the loads of unwritten proposals. His local stooge volunteered to take all the credit for the work while making some poor intern do all the dirty work. This plan was quickly agreed upon by all and sundry.

Dr. Sivarasan wanted PPP to be the main agenda, Dr. Shrimaanth Deadly who dreamt about the HHHHHHLEG every night, insisted on THAT being the focus. Dr. Desi Sweaty wanted a tertiary hospital in every village and slum, never mind that they didn’t have food, water, sanitation, education etc. He felt that a tertiary hospital would be the panacea to all the problems of the country especially if they were remotely connected through telemedicine to each other.

Dr. Get A Sen(se)  insisted on talking about low hanging fruits in a high handed manner. She wanted to appear to address and talk about several issues at the same time, while addressing none. In the meantime, Dr. Sevasadan secretly tried to ensure that health insurance companies would come and give a pep talk to the Who’s who of the conference about the pros and pros of health insurance.

He cleverly crafted a set of speakers who would make everyone happy. He made last minute arrangements to invite the entire (non) thinking tank of the country, making sure they would fly business class and be housed in fancy 7 star hotels. He could have even paid for 9 star hotels, but unfortunately these weren’t available.

He was seriously considering Dr. Sivarasan’s advice to build a resort in the local tiger sanctuary to house visiting dignitaries. These resorts helped generate income for the tigers (more tourists= more money = more resorts = more tourists = more money = more resorts etc.) and would bring in much needed jobs for the local tribals (although none of them would be sighted within 200 yards of the resort). His wife had also insisted that the attending dignitaries be given free yoga sessions and some classical bharatanatyam  to demonstrate the high points of the Brahmin culture.

Stuart Temple of the World bank had also been invited but he had sent a rather huffy mail stating that he didn’t hobnob with riff-raff. This was a fatal flaw in Stuart which he would pay for dearly in the days to come.

Unfortunately the day of the conference turned out to be a curfew and most people never turned up.

Dr. Sevasadan was sad but not unduly so.

There was always a conference to be held next year……… money not being an issue….AND he would probably have that ” tribal funding, tiger friendly, yoga savvy” 9 star resort done by then.


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