Ms. Melodrama

And indeed, what would public health be without the egomaniac damsel in distress, the one who can, in one instant, laugh theatrically and, at another, sniffle at a perceived slight; who can cry ‘RAPE’ during select screenshots, to simultaneously (and endearingly) tug at the collective male heart string.

Enter ………….. the wilting drama queen – Miss Emotional Blackmail herself.

In her mind, she has descended from the heavens to mingle with earthly mortals, but she simply cannot fathom why she is so frequently and consistently wronged. Her eyes flutter in tremulous ignorance – her ignorance being at once her master Ace card and also her downfall. Tear drops hover delicately around her carefully highlighted moonbeam like eyes. She can at once look endearingly petulant and miserably woeful. Her role in the public health drama is unique.

Her heart professes to crumble under the collective sorrows of the world and yet the world sees it not. Instead the ingrates either call her callous names or ignore her, and she doesn’t like that.

She doesn’t like that one bit, so she throws the mother of all tantrums.

Neither does she like what the mirror tells her every night when she asks of it “Am I good?” ‘Am I clever?” “Am I kind?” The answer from her stupid mirror is ALWAYS a categoric NO for each of these questions. She therefore swoons in willful self pity.

She has a multitude of demands and the public health world love her. She is their trump card. She can achieve things that the male cannot. She can enter territory that are closed to others less gifted with theatrical ability. She is their Brahmin diva – the swooning, ego-centric, manipulative, scheming Brahmin diva.

She can’t bear that she has neither a close friend nor even a genuine admirer, so she schemes to get her share of admiration by hook or by crook (If the hook part of it doesn’t work, then ‘crook’ it is). Her vapid expression belies her need to be affirmed.

Her cards are only two – play my game, or bear with me. Since she is mostly unbearable, the foolish opt for her game, but unfortunately, her game is also unbearable. So their lies the irony of public health. Live with it and die, or live without it and (still) die.

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