Dr. Desi Sweaty mopped the sweat off his forehead. Rushing off to the Caveman Islands every second week was getting him down. He hadn’t seen his family in ages and his patients hadn’t seen HIM in ages. Not that the patients seem to mind in particular considering he had grown rather boorish in his attitudes of late. Still he couldn’t quite get himself to accept that his patients weren’t as enamoured of him as he had recently declared on National TV.
Dr. Desi Sweaty had a few ambitions in life. He wanted to be the ONE. When he was younger he had read about kings and queens and always fancied that he would have made a rather dashing king, with an exotically white queen swooning by his side. In his daily escapades, the queen found him so daunting and wickedly exciting, that she could never manage to keep herself quite conscious. Hence her constant swooning…….
Dr. DS realized rather late in life that kings and queens had long gone by the time he grew up. However, not being one to be mentally or physically daunted by such miserable barriers, he immediately set upon a different kind of strategic plan to rule the world.
For a start he felt it was important to identify a white queen who would swoon regularly. He did find some who swooned, only she wasn’t white or a queen, and the swooning came from all the medicines she inhaled when she was concocting them. She was a medicine woman and was so happy with the work she did that she refused to follow the nice doctor half way round the world while he pondered on his path towards kingship. “I’ll go as far as Caveman islands” she said “ and NO further.” So that did it for the dreamy doctor. He ordered the government to give him 95,000 acres of land close to where the non white, non queen medicine women pottered with her toxic swoon inducing fumes.
Having acquired the land, he then set about taking over the country. “Shall I take over the country dear?” he asked the medicine woman while they sipped a foul concoction that she had tenderly prepared for him. “Are you insane?” she asked, rather ‘acid’ly, “ this country has gone to the dogs long ago, and you would go crazy trying to keep all those rioting Maoists and Communists from shooting us down at every opportunity they got. No way”.
Dr. DS at once looked endearingly angry and like a child whose candy had been prematurely snatched away from his little fingers. His droopy look and despondency touched a chord in the medicine woman’s heart. This combined with the noxious fumes she was inhaling, made her rush quickly to his side ‘OK, OK’ she said ‘ since you are a doctor, just take over the health system of this country, but make sure all the medicines go from me, or else………”
Dr. DS wasn’t entirely happy. His dream of ruling the world lay as shattered as the test tubes in the laboratory where this discourse took place. However, not being one to give up, he quickly made a rough sketch about his modus operandi. To keep the medicine woman out of the way, he instructed her to build a flyover. ‘This, my dear’ he said, inhaling deeply of her chemical odour, ‘will be the road that connects you to my heart.’
‘Stop that nonsense DS’ she said rather sharply ‘I intend to make a load of collecting money from the toll booth on this flyover, the road to your heart be damned.’ Having said so, she rushed off the create more useless chemicals to sell when DS took over the health system.
Thus began the story of the takeover of the country’s health system…………
But then that’s another story………………